Oh, experience is cheap
If that’s the company you keep
And a chance is all that I need
And I’ve had it
— the prophet aimee mann
There are many forms of torture. Waterboarding, bamboo under the fingernails, Senate expanding its majority in the Senate, bolstering the already inflated ego of a psychotic. But none of them can compare to Guys Barbecuing Burgers Next to the Back Turn of the Track When You’re Hungry.
I’ve been doing the autophagy mambo for a few weeks, meaning i don’t eat anything between 8 p.m. and noon. Normally this works out fine. I go to sleep, wake up, read the latet depressing news and then run on an empty stomach. Bonus is that the prophet Maffetone likes this for teaching your body how to burn fat. I generally don’t even think about food till the run is done, and then it’s time for lunch. Until today.
As soon as we showed up at the track, they were there. Grill was fired up, burgers being cooked. The tantalizing aroma wafted across the track each loop. Mo made two brilliant observations.
1. There should be places that just sell BBQ burgers. We can’t think of a place that does this. This is a brilliant business idea. Mo is wise.
2. “I got you, babe” should never be covered as a reggae song. Mo moved to the other side of the track just to avoid it. Mo is wise. I might have mentioned that.
I held out hope. Our friend CJ works for the college. Maybe she would show up for the event, see us and wave us over. Or maybe they would have some left over and just invite me in. You there! You look hungry! How about a burger?
But then around mile 3, I heard the person say over the PA that it was time to play a game where you had to go up to someone you had never met and chat for a while. There is NO burger on the planet that could cause me to do this.
So we left hungry. Otherwise, an OK day. Weird how pace is swerving all over the place while staying at 110 HR, but whatever. Today’s mile splits made sense anyhow. A little slower progressively per mile while staying at the same HR. So maybe. At least I’m not being waterboarded.
This for sure, though: We’re moving to a Blue State soon. Or maybe Flagstaff. Even a Blue City seems enough at this point. I’ve had it.
But I haven’t had a burger. Dang, those smelled good …