Today was my day off since I didn’t have fleas yesterday. Which, of course, meant caffeine. It started innocently enough. You sent me a photo of a Mountain Dew and chocolate-covered espresso beans. Which forced me to buy a diet coke and a chocolate donut. Cause and effect. Yin and yang. Abbott and Costello. Hu’s on first. Finally. But then. I was reading about the plight of 800-meter runner Nick Symmonds. He’s been left off the U.S. team for worlds because he refused to sign a contract saying he’d wear only Nike logo products (team sponsor) in the lead-up to the event rather than Brooks, his sponsor. He would have agreed to wear Nike stuff at official events, but the wording of the contract makes it appear that if he went out for coffee and espresso beans in the hotel lobby, he’d have to wear Nike stuff there as well. And since Brooks is paying his rent, he wouldn’t do it. Blah blah blah zzzzzzz personal rights vs. corporate sponsorship zzzzzzzz athletes as pawns in the exploitation of competetition zzzzz — except for this. It went on to talk about sponsorship in a more general sense. And Symmonds has a history of wearing temporary tattoos at events, including one for a product the created, Run Gum. RUN GUM???? I looked it up. As it turns out, he’s a scientist by day and runner by night. Or possibly the other way around. Hard to know with super heroes. He has developed a gum that delivers 50 mg of caffeine. For comparison purposes, you would have to eat FIFTY Hershey’s Kisses to get the equivalent amount of caffeine. Not to mention trying to unwrap them while running. I was instantly smitten. Because, well, it’s caffeine. I MUST HAVE RUN GUM I MUST!!!!! But then I realized I already have a fairly comprehensive caffeine ingestion system in place. I have a diet coke in the morning, and then a cup of coffee. My expired GU of choice is double espresso, and I have been known to stash a few caffeine pills in the fanny pack on hard days. All sit well in my belly. Yes, they take a few minutes to kick in, but heck. I have a few minutes. And none of them require me to wear a temporary tattoo. I’ve already fallen for that one once. YOU SWORE THAT TATTOO WAS TEMPORARY, OISELLE, PEOPLE!!!!! Do I really NEED more caffeine sources, other than helping subsidize a runner? Not really. So I guess Run Gum moves from the To Do list to the To Don’t list. Unlike socks with floppers, which you MUST do. Mostly, now I want some of those espresso beans. The downside of too much caffeine on a no-run day? I’m going to be TOTALLY awake when I go to work now. Dammit.
p.s. dear nick symmonds if you read this, i’m sorry about the world championship thing. If it helps at all, jenny has brooks shoes in her rotation and no nikes. But she also has fleas. Funny how life always seems to balance out.